At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize