This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
