it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
