Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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