best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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