Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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