youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
