Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED