Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up