this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.