i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
