I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
