No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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