break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize