Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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