did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
