I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
