He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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