Fuck appropriateness.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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