But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
