Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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