She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize