but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
