woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
