i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
