i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
