We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize