I will die if light touches me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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