She said her name was "party"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Found the puke drawer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
