Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
