If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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