dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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