New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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