Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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