I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
