there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
