I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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