I just saw a hot homeless man
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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