sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
