Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
