atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
