Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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