Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
