Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
