Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
