im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
