hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
