So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?