I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.