Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic