You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.