nutella sex= disaster
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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