dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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