big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
