xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So here I am, sexting at work.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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