I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
