Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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