I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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