I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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