I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My life is pants optional.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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