Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
