It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
