do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
