Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
