So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
