porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
P.S. I can't hear my feet
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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