so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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